Backlit

For now, you must rest.

For now, you must bend your will and go down to the dark chamber where all the senses are in suspension and only that slow and uncomfortable longing for movement remains. For this is the time for you to rest your body and to free your mind, and as in heaven, your movements are getting more and more stationary. Minimal. Primary. Fetal.

Do as you were instructed. Embrace winter. Become winter.

For now, you must surrender yourself to that disturbing silence of the chamber, from which the light seems to fade with each passing day. Irreversibly, one could say. You feel fear. The darkness is far greater than you, your plans or your routines. It keeps track of your time and brings your timings to an end. It reveals all your shadows. Painful as they are. You think you hear voices, hallucinations of all sorts that arise through you and yet don’t belong to you. You rebel. You refuse to mourn. As you might expect, denial is always the first phase of the process.

But do as you were instructed. Accept the winter. Become winter.

For now, you need to stop altogether and conserve your energy. The worst of the cold season is yet to come, and you will need all your strength to face the rigours of the time of all silence. Of the silence in which you are sown to one day be reborn into living flesh and an awakened spirit. You will have to face the cries coming from your very own soul, clearer than ever, and be ready for the apparition from which few have been able to emerge alive and well.

Do as you were instructed. Listen to winter. Become winter.

In your soul’s cry, you shall discern a call capable of bringing back the sun itself, like the flocks to the fields. In the dark chamber you will be visited by a small ray of light which will slowly bathe your forehead, your face, then the rest of your body, then the whole room. At first sight, you will not be able to recognise your surroundings, and then you will realise that even you have changed form. You will have become someone else, with a radiant brow and prophetic lips.

The promise shall be fulfilled. All because you have become winter.

On your way out, you’ll find a world very different from the one you left at the end of summer. You might feel somewhat confused. You might not understand what has become of the mountains that are now valleys, the firmament that has become an ocean, or the sea, sucked in the meantime into the sky. And the unbreathable air, such scarce fuel for the flame you carry within. And yet it persists. Neither the sea nor the land nor the air will pass away as long as the wheel keeps turning again and again until each being finds its note in the Great Song of all things. Then you will know that nothing on your journey happened by accident: the first invitation, the signs, the dark chamber, the next morning.

Then you will have to keep becoming winter until the light is fully accomplished. For it never arrives too late, and as long as the shadow lingers in the world, it will always return.

The invincible light. The sun that dwells within you and shines for all humankind.